S.O.S

I have to be honest, my reasons for starting this blog are selfish.

Yes, I have lived overseas before. Yes, I have traveled plenty. Yes, I have spent as long as a month away from home when traveling. This situation, however, is a first for me.

I grew up in a military family. Both of my parents were officers in the Air Force, my brother is a pilot for the Air Force, and my husband is also Air Force. The military lifestyle is not new to me.

My husband’s next assignment is in Aviano, Italy and we leave in less than a month! It’s getting so close! I’ve been to Italy before and loved it! It’s a beautiful country! The Cinque Terre, Rome, the Tuscan region, Venice (which we only be an hour train ride away from). Aviano will be a first though. I’m excited for a new adventure and a chance to travel again.

As excited as I am for all of the life changes happening, I also have some pretty serious anxiety. Everyone keeps saying how lucky I am or how jealous they are. Yes, this is exciting and I do consider myself lucky to have an experience like this, however, with this comes the loss of other things.

I am not military myself. I am…..was…. a second grade teacher, but had to quit, obviously. Of course this was a sacrifice I was willing to make. I love my husband and I understand with things like this, his career will come first. Buuut, quitting my job with nothing else lined up at the moment is scary! Am I the only one who thinks that? Yes, yes, I have my husband to support me in the mean time, but it’s a little terrifying to not be self sufficient anymore. My job was a big part of my life and having to start over in a job or career creates a lot of anxiety.

This will also be the first time that I will be far away from my family. My brother and sister-in-law live in Charleston, my mom lives here too. I will be a first time aunt in October, which I am so overjoyed about!  Here comes more anxiety though! I will fly home in time to welcome her into the world, but then I will have to leave again. I hate the idea of missing so much of her first little bit of life. It’s also hard to make peace with the fact that I won’t be able to see my family as often as I do now. In 27 years, I’ve never gone more than a month without seeing them.

There’s the anxiety of making sure that my fur baby makes it to Italy safely. There’s the anxiety of being alone for a lot of the time we are there. There’s the anxiety of what I will do for a job. There’s the anxiety that our furniture won’t arrive for two months and we will be living in an empty house.

There’s. Anxiety.

So, I started a blog. See? Selfish. I felt this was a way to share those anxieties. To help get them out and to hopefully find other people who are in, or have already, experienced similar anxiety. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone in your mental breakdowns and to learn how others got through it. If nothing else, maybe someone will find my sharings helpful, or hey! Maybe just find it interesting and enjoy reading it!

And if there is anyone else out there going through something similar, or having a mildly controlled panic attack, know you aren’t alone. In Charleston, SC, there is a woman sitting at her computer, in her room, typing her blog, quietly having a minor breakdown herself. 😉

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